Why can’t we take our cars as seriously as the Americans take their hamburgers? For petrol-heads the worst possible motoring offence has nothing to do with speed or alcohol. It’s all about designing and building boring cars. Most manufacturers build lots of them, and, like sheep, we buy them.
In the Land of the Free customers are not so meek – if they don’t get what they want, even if it’s just a hamburger sauce or a milkshake, our transatlantic cousins do something about it,. In August this year 39 year old Danny Thomas was sentenced to 13 years in an American jail because he stabbed a cashier below the eye with a ball point pen and then pumped six .357 Magnum rounds into a McDonalds Drive-Thru window after the kitchen had mixed up his order.
Earlier this month Houston mother Waynetta Nolan (37) was sent to the lockup for ten years for running over a McDonalds manager who wouldn’t give her mayonnaise on her cheeseburger. And although he blames depression for his actions, Frank Nastasi must have had his own reasons for picking a hamburger restaurant to drive his car into during a 2002 suicide bid which left three McDonalds workers dead and him in hospital under police guard.
The MG ZR 160 three-door hatch delivered to me for evaluation last week fortunately passes the McDonalds test, so I didn’t have to prove any points.
The ZR is sold in three and five door versions in this country, with a choice of 120 or 160 horsepower (90 or 120 kW) versions of the litre K series engine that also powers the TF roadsters. There’s also a two litre turbodiesel version for those who prefer to burn oil.
The MG ZR models, rather confusingly, get their model designations from the output of the engine (in horsepower) rather than from their capacity. Both the ZR 120 and the ZR 160 engines actually displace 1,8 litres. The more powerful 160 versions are fitted with upgraded brakes and larger 17″ wheels fitted with low profile rubber, while a close-ratio five-speed manual gearbox keeps the engine in the power band during aggressive driving. The performance models also come with sporty seats bearing brightly – some would say gaudily – coloured leather inserts.
On the road the MG didn’t disappoint. It feels very single-purpose, with a very firm ride, direct steering and some serious get-up-and-go tucked under the bonnet. The needle spins around to the 7 200 rpm red line at the drop of a foot, but the car doesn’t have to be revved to make it go. The factory claims a 0-100 time of 7,4 seconds and a top speed of 210 km/hr, and because of the sound effects and twitchiness you’re well aware of how quickly you’re going.
This isn’t one of the cars that wafts you down the road in a cocoon of air-conditioned luxury at double the speed limit without you feeling like you’re going anywhere. The MG involves you in every step of the process. Handling is brilliant – you can take the little car by the scruff of the neck and throw it into corners at ridiculous speeds without getting bitten – and braking is superb. The MG comes with ABS but there’s no traction control, so when those 160 horses all start galloping at once there’s a fair amount of wheelspin to alert the neighbours to your departure. Mine have an irritating habit of hooting every time they leave home, so the MG allowed me a certain measure of childish revenge…
So what else is there to say? All the boring stuff about air conditioning and electric windows, front loaders and airbags? They’re all there, but they’re not what this car is about. There’s space in the back for a couple of passengers, but they’d better be good friends because they’re going to be up close and personal, and the boot is big enough for a couple of suitcases, if anybody cares.
The MG is not without its faults. The dash looks a little plasticky, and body panel fit isn’t as good as in some of its competitors. Not bad, but not perfect. But the MG ZR 160 is endowed with tons of soul, and to me that’s important. With so many manufacturers selling so many car brands in South Africa today the number of hot hatches up for grabs is growing fast.
The R209 500 MG ZR 160 isn’t quite the quickest of the breed in a straight line, but it’s far from the slowest, and it’s certainly one of the most exciting. Highly recommended. Now I’m going for a drive, and it won’t be anywhere near a McDonalds!