The running of the bull
When President Thabo Mbeki — known as a ”man of the people” around election time — visited the Eastern Cape recently, he was offered a cow and an ox as gifts by King Maxhoba Sandile at Mngqesha place. During the presentation, women journalists were barred from attending because their presence was said to be taboo. But, Lemmer has to ask, what about all those uncircumcised male journalists?
As it turned out, perhaps the women press people were lucky not to have been present. One of the beasts (Oom Krisjan’s source did not stick around long enough to check its gender) didn’t fancy any of the lights, cameras or action and charged the assembled cameramen. Guests were treated to the unedifying sight of war-hardened snappers fleeing in disarray as an Eastern Cape village briefly turned into Pamplona — which is why Lemmer cannot provide readers with visual evidence of the lack of women at the gathering.
M&G’s healthy men
Here in the Dorsbult we’re all very proud when any of the manne gets some recognition. So we all raise our glasses to Dorsbult regular Stefaans Brummer and would-be regular Tom Eaton (if we could ever get him out of the visdorpie), who were nominated in the media category for Men’s Health magazine’s Best Man awards. To the best of Oom Krisjan’s knowledge, these awards have nothing to do with the traditional ”best man” role (handing over the ring, holding the barf bag for the groom), but have been instituted to recognise the nicest guys around.
For the record, the 10 nominees in the media category were: Stefaans Brümmer — writer, M&G; Bengin- kosi ”Zola” Dlamini — entertainer; Tom Eaton — columnist, M&G; Clarence Ford — DJ and MC; Phat Joe — TV and radio show host; Mondli Makhanya — editor, Sunday Times (and, until recently, M&G editor); Matshelane Mamabolo — Saturday Star columnist; Robert Marawa — TV sports journalist; Tim Modise — radio and TV journalist (Carte Blanche and Radio 702); Simnikiwe Xabanisa — sports writer, Sunday Times.
The finalists will be announced next month.
Bush whacked
In the United States the election issues are really important. Consider the furore sparked by Tyler Crotty, a 13-year-old from Florida, who had the nerve to be caught on camera yawning in the background while Bushbaby gave a speech.
Now Lemmer doubts there are too many people in the free world (those countries not taken over by the US) who would not sympathise with Crotty — both about his name and his having to sit through a Dubya speech — but what really surprises the manne is the media reaction.
Footage of the bored teenager was shown on David Letterman’s nightly show, prompting CNN to tell the world that the White House had assured them the tape was a fake.
Thing is, the White House had said nowt about it. And young Tyler claimed that although he had yawned, he wasn’t bored, just tired. Think of this next time you watch CNN.
Picture this
It might be heretical to say so, but so far in this election campaign no single issue has gripped the manne quite as much as the silliness surrounding election posters.
It appears someone in the Milpark region of Jozi believes National Action should target the gay vote …
… while there is sure to be an inquiry in Piesangland about how these two posters came to be juxtaposed:
No laughing matter
Oom Krisjan had to decline an invitation to the King Hintsha Bravery Awards held at Unisa last month.
”These awards celebrate heroes of the struggle, bravery, excellence and outstanding service and contribution to our fledging democracy. This year’s recipients are:
”1. Oliver Tambo — A post- Humourous honour for the Gallant fighter; 2. Albertina Sisulu — Freedom fighter and great heroine of South Africa; 3. Justice Dikgang Moseneke — Legal eagle and powerful business man.”
Lemmer failed to see the funny side in the death of a national hero.
Bearding the media
What would South African soccer reporters be without clichés? If it were not for the devoted efforts of our back-page comrades, ”gangling strikers”, ”ball kissing the back of the net”, ”niggling injury”, ”a marvel to watch” and ”a shrewd tactitian” are phrases that would have long disappeared from the national vocabulary.
But for a Sunday newspaper to report that new Bafana Bafana coach Stewart Baxter was ”sporting a clean-shaven face” and still have a picture of him, err, sporting a goatee is an act of nimble-footed dribbling.