Football fans all over the world will be reaching for the prayer mats (atheists: simply drink more beer) this weekend as the season approaches hit-or-bust time in England.
Yes, that’s hit-or-bust, though if Spurs lose to Arsenal on Sunday, unloved caretaker boss David Pleat will be in it up to his eyeballs.
The Gunners, currently nine points clear and still unbeaten, can clinch the championship at White Hart Lane but Spurs, five points clear of the relegation zone with four to play, simply can’t afford to surrender to their north London rivals.
Last time Arsenal won the title at Tottenham, the grimmest area in north London (honest, no bias, Roman Abramovich took one look at the environment and decided to buy Chelsea), was in 1971 when Arsène Wenger was a very average footballer in the French fourth division and John Radford scored the goal that provided the first leg of an historic double.
Mind you, if Chelsea beat Newcastle earlier on Sunday, Arsenal may have to wait another week (at home to Birmingham next Saturday, clearly the preferable option for Gooners). And I’ve got an awful feeling Spurs will put up a bit of a fight on Sunday. My mate Andrew Dunn, chief football writer at The People, has Spurs at 33-1 to end that unbeaten Arsenal run. And he knows his football.
Game of the day promises to be Liverpool’s visit to hated rivals Manchester United. The more lurid papers are suggesting Old Trafford had been targeted by suicide bombers for this one. Okay, both of these red-shirted northern giants have been, well, really full of it this season but suicide bombing seems a bit extreme. Why not just burn your season ticket?
I reckon United, atrocious against Portsmouth last weekend (as I predicted, their hairstyles were more memorable than their football), should put another nail in Gerard Houllier’s managerial coffin as the battle hots up for fourth position.
I’m backing Newcastle in what has been dubbed the race for Premiership B. But they host Chelsea, which should end in a draw.
That might let in Aston Villa, whose boss David O’Leary has allegedly been approached to boss the Blues. Villa go to Middlesbrough, who still have an outside chance of fourth place and a very good chance of finishing higher than they ever have before in the top flight — eighth.
Charlton go to Fulham with Alan Curbishley, in charge for a mere 13 years, admitting: ‘I think the battle for fourth place will go right to the last game of the season.
‘We are going into something we have never experienced before and this is a unique season.
‘The teams going for the last European league spot are 30 points behind the team that is going to win the league and that is incredible. It may never happen again. Next year, the top four might run away with it and there will be no chance of it happening — so the moment is now. The opportunity is there to grab it. Let’s hope we can make it a great run-in.â€
Birmingham, also surprising everyone this season, should pick up three points against doomed Wolves to stay in the hunt too.
Then we come to the fascinating relegation battles. Portsmouth, who looked down and out before their triumph over United last Saturday, go to Leeds, who have fought their way from doom to gloom with a great escape just around the corner.
I’m going with Leeds, though even a win won’t assure salvation.
Blackburn travel to Everton knowing defeat will put them back in the relegation battle after their lucky win over Leicester last week.
I don’t know what it is about Graeme Souness, but hands up if you’d like to see his lot relegated. Yup, thought so.
Leicester have got Kevin Keegan’s woeful under-achievers Manchester City in another classic basement battle. Keegan is recovering from a bad spine but the current wisecrack suggests it’s his side which he’s struggling with rather than his back.
The rumour this week is that KK’s players are saying he gives them too many days off and not enough tactical help. Shocking.
Nobody much cares about Southampton vs Bolton, sorry.
But what about the first division’s potential Premiership promotees?
Norwich are up and they’ll be joined by West Brom and the play-off winners, one of Sunderland, Ipswich, Wigan, West Ham and FA Cup finalists Millwall, who are already assured of a Uefa Cup place next season.
Wouldn’t it be great to see Dennis Wise take the FA Cup off Manchester United and then join them in the top flight? You read it here first.