Magpies eye silverware

Newcastle fans are among the most imcomprehensible in England. Instead of ‘yes”, the Geordie in our office says ‘why hi man”; rather than ‘just coming” he says ‘why hi man”, and when you expect him to say ‘goodbye” he says, you’ve guessed it, ‘why hi man”.

Gareth, the Magpies fan known as ‘Pet” who works in the Sunday People office in London, generally needs an interpreter to tell us about Newcastle’s chances this season.

Worryingly, he reckons: ‘Why hi man, wid best the lot of yer. Howay the Toon.”

My man with the Geordie dictionary reckons this translates as: ‘Yes/just coming/goodbye, we’re going to beat the lot of you. Go the town!”

And strangely, I agree with the man from the barren northeast, though not in as many words. Here’s why.

Sir Bobby Robson, the former England manager now deep in to his seventies and easily the oldest boss in the Premiership, is entering his last season in charge at St James’s Park.

Alan Shearer, who might just take over from the lovable Bobby, is in his final season of goal-getting after 15 years of successful plundering at Southampton, Blackburn and his beloved Newcastle.

Neither the nation’s most experienced manager nor the Premiership’s highest scorer is likely to blow it on his swansong.

Then you’ve got some key players who are vastly underrated in the grand scheme of things. Irish goalkeeper Shay Given is a useful stopper; barring a hamstring injury, former Leeds centrehalf Jonathan Woodgate would have partnered Sol Campbell at the back for England at Euro 2004 with far more aplomb than Chelsea’s John Terry; and the oft-injured Welsh motormouth Craig Bellamy is a real handful, on and off the pitch.

Kieron Dyer, the energetic former Ipswich midfielder, should have played for England ahead of dodgy Sven Goran Eriksson selections like Phil Neville and Owen Hargreaves. He should line up alongside former Leeds bad-boy Lee Bowyer, who would still be an England player if he hadn’t caused so many problems in the past.

Then let’s look at the bargain basement buys Sir Bobby has made during this off-season.

Leeds teenager James Milner, the Premiership’s youngest scorer to date, was eventually tempted away from the financial crisis at Elland Road and is reputed to be one of the top youngsters around.

Then we’ve got the great Dutchman Patrick Kluivert, on his way out after years of terrifying defences for Barcelona, telling us at the still-lethal age of 28 (with a little help from his agent): ‘Newcastle is absolutely the first choice from a career point of view. We want this done within 14 days.”

Encouragingly for Newcastle, he is prepared to drop his salary demands, believed to be in the La Liga region of £80 000 a year.

Also on the cards? According to my sources, Newcastle could still add to their squad one or several of the following: Manchester United’s injured midfielder Nicky Butt, Southampton striker James Beattie, Spurs full-back Stephen Carr and Egyptian striker Mido.

Not a bad winter’s work if they land that little lot.

Okay, they lost 4-2 on penalties to the Thai national side on their tour of the Far East last week after drawing in Bangkok.

But remember, this is the side that finished fifth last season, earning a Uefa Cup spot behind the Champions League qualifiers, Liverpool, Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal.

With soon-to-be-Lord Bobby and soon-to-be-Sir Alan leading the way, expect an improved finish this season, perhaps even second behind Chelsea.

Certainly, the ever-loyal Toon Army deserve another crack at the Champions League next season.

My mate Gareth just says: ‘Why hi man.”