Marching from Pretoria
Jabu Moleketi (recent maker of a ”slip” regarding a company he set up to bid for government contracts) was spotted by one of Lemmer’s sources last Sunday afternoon at the International Monetary Fund’s headquarters in Washington DC.
Many good comrades from the Communist Party, endlessly regaled with Moleketi’s impeccable revolutionary credentials such as having attended the USSR party school in Moscow, would have been astounded to hear him extolling the great virtues of American capitalism to a South African minder on the orange line of the DC metro-rail, as it wended its way into deepest Virginia.The minder was plugging the ”absolute necessity” of his doing a two-year stint in the capital of Mammon and not being recalled home.
Such calls to selfless devotion to duty obviously struck a chord. Among the other plums of politicial insight offered, in English, by Moleketi within hearing of all (including a former Soviet diplomat and past instructor of Cde Jabu) was the utter but necessary tedium of the commute between Johannesburg and Pretoria — the latter being a dump of some note, in the dear comrade’s view. Tshwane was never mentioned, even as a synonym.
Who goes there?
Mindful of the terrible disruptions caused to the Mother of Parliaments (the one in Westminster, not Frene Ginwala) by fox-hunting supporters, and no doubt spurred into action since that old gossip Hogarth pointed out weaknesses, security at our own seat of government has been tightened up.
At least that’s the sort of spin that’s likely to be put on events in the visdorpie on Monday. Cyril Ramaphosa, at the head of a small phalanx of bankers (they were wearing dark blue pinstriped suits, so Lemmer believes they must have been bankers) tried to gain access to Parliament through a staff entrance. The police constable on duty was adamant, however, that they should not pass, politely referring Ramaphosa to the visitor’s centre for security clearance and an entrance pass.
Oom Krisjan is simply pointing to the vigilance of the police, of course, not alluding to any difficulties the simpler, better, faster candidate might face in rallying his constituency for the 2007 succession race.
Sign of the times
The new vigilance isn’t confined to the visdorpie, however. What with al-Qaeda, the CIA, rand-rich rooinek pensioners and other undesirables apparently flooding into the beloved country — indeed, being positively waved through by Home Affairs — Oom Krisjan was mightily relieved to hear that the Jozi City Hall is at least secure.
A Proudly South African resident of eGoli was showing two uitlanders around the city last week when they stopped to admire the architectural splendours of the building in which the city fathers toil to ensure that Jo’burgers get their electricity bills (et al) on time. The architectural magnificence induced one of the three, standing in Rissik Street Square the better to admire the view, to whip out a camera. At which point a council security guard steamed over, brandishing handcuffs, demanding to see official, written permission for this liberty and threatening instant detention on failure to produce same.
In the pleasantries that followed, the eGoli resident pointed out that there isn’t even a sign anywhere saying you can’t take pictures of the City Hall. To which the formidable guard responded: ”If there were, I’d be out of a job.” That man is destined for higher things. A job in Parliament, for instance.
Seats of power
For those wanting to book their seats on the gravy train, this advert appeared on the front page of the South Coast Herald. Unlike some of our honourable members, it only flighted for a couple of weeks. Oom Krisjan isn’t sure whether the proprietor ran out of money or toilet seats.
Huh?
Speaking of adverts, can the proprietors of the Times Square Café please enlighten Lemmer about what was meant by one of the requirements for the help wanted classified that appeared in this newspaper last week: ”Must be bilingual in English”.
Nonsensitive
The prez’s views on Aids will undoubtedly have to form an important part of Ronald Suresh Roberts’s million-rand survey of our glorious leader’s political thoughts. But Oom Krisjan was wondering if the presidency knew how Roberts once described Mbeki’s views on the matter?
Speaking to the Boston Globe in 2001, Nadine Gordimer’s former official biographer said: ”Why was it not a bigger issue on the opposition’s agenda until [President] Thabo Mbeki starting talking nonsense about Aids?”
To be sure, the comment was made in the context of attacking the opposition stance on the epidemic, but still … the presidency has been known to be rather sensitive on this matter.
Greek tragedy
Lemmer was admiring the all ”Distinctly African” City Press launched last weekend when he noticed a story on the front page that puzzled him: Greek women aren’t getting laid enough, it seems.
Rightly doubting his Afro-renaissance credentials, Oom Krisjan scrutinised the story to see what African relevance it could possess to give it pride of place on the front page of the first edition of the all-new, all-African et cetera. Then we got it: Would those Griekse vrouens have anything to complain about if they were lucky enough to be in Africa?
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