This week’s big question: If Alex Ferguson really was hit by pizza, sandwiches and pea soup in the ‘tunnel of hate†at Old Trafford on Sunday, just what kind of diet are Arsenal’s extremely well-paid athletes on?
Who the hell eats pizza after being cheated, sorry beaten, 2-0 at Manchester United? And who dun the throwing? Who started the mass swinging of handbags?
Why weren’t the cameras there? Did anyone give Ruud van Nistelrooy the slap he deserved? Who was the Arsenal geezer who ended up with a bloody nose?
These are questions which were put to me on Sky News on Tuesday morning as the echoes of Sunday’s epic contest, wrongly described as ‘The match of the decade†by Ferguson (just wait until Arsenal vs Chelsea), continued to rumble around the game.
Some pompous parliamentary sketch writer from the Daily Mail was saying how disgraceful all this is. The old ‘football in the gutter†drivel. How can they let these guys on the telly? Mind you, I’m told I’ve got a good face for radio.
My view? It was great to see Arsenal have another pop at United, especially after the string of injustices they had to suffer. The neutrals love all these shenanigans. And no, kids won’t copy this food-throwing habit except at kiddies’ parties, where pizza-tossing has long been a sport.
My main point: at least the Premiership’s top players show a bit of fire. That’s what makes English football the internationally marketable product it is.
Sure, there will be a few fines and bans handed around. Rightly so. But that’s football. Just go down and watch what happens when some buffoon dives during one of my Chesham Sunday league fixtures. Chaos ensues. Throwing pizza? Hah! That’s for sissies.
If the Premiership’s top side had calmly come off and said ‘Who cares?†after Van Nistelrooy had tried to maim Ashley Cole, after Wayne Rooney’s goaled-medal winning dive and referee Mike Riley’s one-eyed display, what kind of game would it be?
You have to show passion when Van Nistelrooy scores and goes wild, knowing he should have been red-carded for a challenge he has now admitted was awful. And when Rio Ferdinand, United’s best player, stayed on the park despite taking out Freddi Ljungberg when he was through on goal in the first half. You can’t just take these things lying down.
Professional footballers in the modern age are paid an awful lot of money to win. The fans expect them to react when they lose, even if, for Jens Lehmann, this was the first League defeat in a 50-match Premiership career.
We expect outrage, fire, Thierry Henry shoulder-shrugging and even soup, pizza and passion.
Ask West Brom boss Gary Megson about passion. Make that former West Brom boss Gary Megson. He had to cancel training last week because ‘the attitude among the players just wasn’t right. They are more concerned about what West Brom can give them than what they can offer West Brom.â€
Megson was promptly fired on Tuesday. So much for player power.
And really, that’s the point. Look where the Baggies are in the table, look how they folded 3-0 against fellow strugglers Crystal Palace last week. They let their manager down, they let the fans down, they should all take a pay cut and offer it to charity.
Then look where Arsenal and Manchester United’s passionate, never-say-die players stand in the pantheon of world football.
The beautiful game does not always carry an acceptable face … but it remains compelling and fascinating. The end of Arsenal’s record 49-match run was as it should be: an epic defeat which will linger long in the memory for all the right — and all the wrong — reasons.
This week? Forget all the League Cup rubbish. Just reserve sides involved for the big guns.
On Saturday, Arsenal play Southampton at Highbury. Their current unbeaten league run stands at nil games. Be a laugh if they lost against Steve Wigley’s sorry Saints, wouldn’t it? I can’t see that happening, any more than I can see managerless West Brom holding Chelsea at the Hawthorns. Two big wins on the cards there.
Manchester United should be up for it again at Portsmouth, and, if the Everton bubble finally bursts at Goodison against Aston Villa, we’ll see the threatening three emerge soon as the only real contenders for Premiership glory.
Bolton may be the only club who can live with these big guns, thanks o Sam Allardyce’s shrewd moves in the market and tactical nous. But the Wanderers host Newcastle on Sunday, which could be a problem after the Magpies’ epic 4-3 win over Manchester City on Sunday.
Graeme Souness has done what I expected at Newcastle and stiffened things up after the Bobby Robson holiday camp. This could be the turning point in Bolton’s season, and I think it might be a downward turn.
If Spurs lose at Fulham on Saturday, former France boss Jacques Santini will start to feel real pressure as he slips into the bottom half, while Mark Hughes will probably resign if bottom club Blackburn — picked out by yours truly as the worst side in the world before last week’s 4-0 defeat at Chelsea — lose to Liverpool.
Birmingham boss Steve Bruce desperately needs a win against visiting Crystal Palace (I did warn West Brom about Andy Johnson last week; I’d give Bruce the same advice) and Charlton may struggle against Middlesbrough, who could yet emerge as Champions League contenders under Steve McClaren.
Monday’s game is eminently missable: Kevin Keegan’s leaky Manchester City take on Norwich, the only side in the Premiership without a win. I back the Canaries for a point but I couldn’t really care less. Neither of these two sides will be troubling the scorers much this season and City’s brilliant Shaun Wright-Phillips will be off to his dad Ian’s beloved Arsenal in January if he has any sense.
And so to Europe, match day four in the Champions League, featuring the reverse fixtures from the last set of games.
Arsenal, held 2-2 by Panathinaikos thanks to Lehmann’s blunders a fortnight ago, should be too good for the Greeks at home on Tuesday. Arsenal’s lack of goals at Old Trafford was a mere blip from the free-scoring Gunners — Henry was very quiet and Patrick Vieira gave the ball away far too often — so don’t bet on another European cock-up from the domestic champions.
Perfect Chelsea, comfortable winners at Stamford Bridge, may struggle to smuggle home more than a point on their visit to CSKA Moscow. Roman Abramovich, who owns Chelsea and sponsors CSKA, would probably be happy with that.
But both of these English clubs should qualify comfortably from their groups with two games to come after this week.
On Wednesday, Liverpool, the only English side to suffer defeat in the Champions League so far, may be the only Premiership club to join Scottish champions Celtic in the no-go area: they have to beat Deportivo la Coruna in Spain to keep the pressure on Olympiakos and Monaco in Group A.
Manchester United should ease through in Group D, though. The Arsenal win, as Ferdinand said, should prove to be the turning point of a so-far mediocre season.
They’ve got Sparta Prague at Old Trafford after being held 0-0 away. Just hope somebody’s cleared up that mess in the tunnel.