There are some players who make you angry. Robbie Savage, Dennis Wise, Patrick Vieira, the old Roy Keane, the even older Vinnie Jones. All balls, no talent.
There are some who infuriate, like Glenn Hoddle, Chris Waddle, John Barnes and David Beckham. All talent, no balls.
But then there are the bloody silly. Robbie Fowler springs to mind, but he scored a cracker this week so we’ll leave him be. Ironically, it’s his Manchester City strike partner Nicolas Anelka who must suffer the icy blast this week.
Look, we all remember when Arsène Wenger plucked him from obscurity and put a 17-year-old unknown up front at Highbury where he scored goals for fun in the 1998 Double season. He even scored in the FA Cup final win over Newcastle, a young, fresh-faced teenager we all thought would be a hero for years to come. The next Ian Wright.
But no, he was too good for the Gunners after scoring 23 goals in just 50 starts. After a bit of sulking, missing awards ceremonies and general pratting about, off he went to Real Madrid, though Wenger, having lured the young Frenchman over the channel for £50 000 from Paris St Germain, made a cool £22,5-million profit on the deal.
The old sulky stuff didn’t go down too well at the Bernebeu. He lasted just 19 games, seven of them as a sub, scoring just twice. The Spaniards never seemed to appreciate his phenomenal talent and pace. So he went home to Paris for a diminished fee and found they’d gone off him too. A loan spell to Liverpool followed, then a surprise £13-million move to Kevin Keegan’s Manchester City.
Yes, King Kev stepped in to rescue a man struggling to come to terms with his own talent, a striker considered too cocky, too run by his own brother-agents to be a superstar. And Keegan made him his top earner on £40 000 a week, recognising that a man still in his early 20s can’t have lost it. Surely.
I saw him play for City at Arsenal last season, scoring in a tight 2-1 defeat. He was magic. Born in March 1979, he’s hardly finished yet. Like Keegan, I thought he’d do the business this season, at last, after that bright start under Wenger.
But no, he’s come out in the French papers saying he’s ‘fed-up†at City, that he deserves a bigger club and that he’s basically bored.
He said: ‘I either decide to win titles or to have an easy life. I will always choose football if a great club makes an offer.
‘My objective is to give my maximum for City in order to find a big club. To win titles you need players who have the capability of doing so. If we stagnate between eighth and 15th place, it’s impossible to progress. If I am going to score goals and not win, there is a risk of being fed up.
‘Playing for eighth place is good but I miss the Champions League. I need to be playing in it and I should be playing in it.
‘The ideal would be that City become a great club, but if that happens I will be 35 years old.â€
Twaddle. The boy needs a good clip around the ear.
But, typically, football rewards the selfish and the egotistical. Barcelona are apparently interested. He’ll probably bugger off there in January, making Keegan look stupid for trying to save his career.
A City source says: ‘If a player indicates he wants to leave a club there is very little you can do to keep him. Anelka is a prize asset but there has been no interest expressed in him so far.â€
Expect a £10-million bid from Barca in January. And a sigh of relief around the City training ground.
Here’s where the other sighs will come from over the next week:
Palace vs Blackburn
Poor old Andy Johnson. The man deemed to be the Crystal Palace saviour missed the penalty that might have salvaged a point against Charlton on Sunday. This week we’ll find out if he’s got guts as well as the knack of scoring goals. Blackburn, level on points with Palace, were just as unlucky in their 1-0 defeat against Spurs last week. I’m being told Mark Hughes is turning things around at Rovers. I have yet to be convinced.
Verdict: Palace 1 Blackburn 1
Everton vs Liverpool
The Reds could only draw at Villa last week, while the Blue half of Merseyside somehow persuaded Bolton to give up all three points at Goodison in a stirring 3-2 win. That means we have the rare vision of Everton entering a Mersey derby way ahead of the historically more successful neighbours — third with 33 points, while Liverpool are seventh with 24. Surely David Moyes can’t start losing now, after all those weeks of us ‘experts†saying the bubble is about to burst?
Verdict: Everton 2 Liverpool 2
Man City vs Spurs
City were unlucky to lose 3-2 at Middlesbrough on Monday — it was fascinating to see the Wright-Phillips brothers on the field together. I’m told Bradley is more talented than Shaun, though I can’t quite believe it. City look reasonably secure and with Robbie Fowler finally scoring again, they may be a handful for Spurs, who are just a point behind them after their win against Blackburn last week. Martin Jol’s men have only scored four away goals all season, anything more than a point would be a bonus.
Verdict: Man City 1 Tottenham 1
Newcastle vs Pompey
Strange, all this talk of Alan Shearer not being needed by Graeme Souness just a month or so after the Newcastle boss was known to be trying to persuade him to stay on an extra year. There’s even talk, on good authority, about Shearer being drafted in as an emergency centre half when fit. Rubbish. He’ll slot straight back in next to Craig Bellamy and Patrick Kluivert when the time is right. And Portsmouth will suffer either way. Okay, they look relatively safe after the 3-2 win over West Brom, but I think they’ll struggle to survive without Harry Redknapp.
Verdict: Newcastle 3 Portsmouth 0
Norwich vs Bolton
Rahdi Jaidi’s own goal in the 3-2 defeat at Everton overshadowed the re-emergence of Kevin Davies as a top Premiership striker who can worry any defence, especially Nigel Worthington’s hapless foursome at Norwich, who have won just once all season. Worryingly though, Sam
Allarydyce appears to be losing the plot, accusing referees of conspiracies against his side. C’mon Sam, you can still get into Europe, get the laughing gear going!
Verdict: Norwich 1 Bolton 3
Saints vs Boro
Southampton remain in mortal danger and really didn’t need last week’s hammering at the hands of Manchester United. Coach Steve Wigley is apparently already resigned to losing striker James Beattie in the January transfer window, and with Middlesbrough up to fifth, the Saints will go marching down this weekend. Anybody who saw the form of Mark Viduka and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink at the Riverside on Monday knows that.
Verdict: Saints 0 Boro 3
WBA vs Charlton
I’m not sure the Baggies deserved to come away with nothing from Portsmouth last week after leading twice. Still, the good news is that Robert Earnshaw is scoring in the Premiership after those years of promise with Cardiff in the lower reaches. The bad news? Dennis Rommedahl is finally showing for Charlton. He’s got pace, nous and finishing ability. Alan Curbishley will hope the Dane can show a bit more of that this week after his late goal against Palace.
Verdict: West Brom 2 Charlton 2
Arsenal vs Chelsea
Enough said about this one. All it needs is a bit of post-match pizza throwing and we’ll be talking about it for the rest of the year. Jose Mourinho has too many players, Arsène Wenger has never known what to do about goalkeepers. There can be only one winner: the guys with the money. That’s football, that’s life.
Verdict: Arsenal 0 Chelsea 2
Villa vs Birmingham
The midlands derby should go the way of David O’Leary’s stuttering Aston Villa. Scintillating one week, average the next, they have the big guns up front to blow the Blues away. With Nobby Solano scoring a fabulous free-kick last week to grab a point off Liverpool, this should be a comfortable win. But Steve Bruce will be telling his Birmingham bumblers that a derby is all about grit and determination. That appears to be all they’ve got. And they’re only two points off the relegation zone.
Verdict: Villa 2 Birmingham 1
Fulham vs Man United
I tipped Fulham for relegation last season and Chris Coleman surprised us all. This season they need a point in situations like this to survive. I’ve always said Andy Cole was an inspired signing and he proved just that in the 1-0 win over Norwich last week. But it was only Norwich. Manchester United are flying right now, with Ryan Giggs looking like the quality performer we’ve always known he is. Sadly, I can see United ending up as Chelsea’s closest challengers.
Verdict: Fulham 1 Man United 3
Liverpool vs Portsmouth (Tuesday)
A lot depends on how that Mersey derby goes, but Rafa Benitez’s men should be too much for Pompey and their strange owner Milan Mandaric. Okay, most of Liverpool’s strike force is out injured but Neil Mellor appears to have the guts for it — and so does Florent Sinema Pongolle, despite the weight of all those letters on his back.
Verdict: Liverpool 2 Portsmouth 0