The Dominican Convent in Belgravia, Johannesburg, embraces many of the values and traditions of the Catholic Church. But it also recognises that learners must face the facts of life head-on – including sex and the real threat of HIV.
The result is that the school takes a “realistic approach” to dealing with issues of sexuality, giving space for open and frank discussions about them, says headmaster Mike Thiel.
Life-orientation classes are where these issues are thrashed out. Lorenzo Orru begins his lesson to a group of grade 10 girls and boys: “According to the church, we must abstain (from premarital sex). But we are human, and our actions will sometimes differ from what we believe,” he says. “We are going to fail (sometimes) in our lives, but it doesn’t mean we are bad.”
Having set the tone of acceptance, Orru launches into the topic for the day: sexuality and culture.
“Virginity was and is a big thing in African culture,” he says.
Orru refers to the practice of virginity testing of young girls in Swaziland, and one of the girls in the class jumps to attention and demands some airtime. “Is it fair to test (girls) for virginity?” she asks.
“Well, let’s get the male Zulus to talk about this,” Orru suggests, stirring the debate.
Sibusiso Sithole (18) immediately responds. “Some women are afraid to talk about virginity, so testing helps to get the facts right,” he says.
“But why is it important to know if I’m a virgin?” asks another girl learner.
“What’s the point of doing a test when you can break your hymen doing ballet or riding a horse?” offers Nicaise Ntilikwendera (15).
As the debate goes on, Tumi Maimane (15) finally gets a chance to contribute his question: “Why don’t men have to take virginity tests?”
Ten minutes and some well-debated arguments later, the class hasn’t come to any major conclusions. But finding the answers is not so important as getting learners thinking intellectually about their community values and their lives, says Orru.
And Orru is sure of the value of the exercise. “Kids who have come through from the primary school are a lot more confident and aware of who they are,” he says.
Nothisile Mngoma (15) is one student who is determined to tackle the realities of HIV/Aids straight on – including the fact that one in five of her peer group is expected to contract HIV. She is very vocal about using condoms for safe sex, especially in her life-orientation classes, she says.
“If I can think about it (the epidemic), I can act on it,” Mngoma says.
But there are other aspects – such as pregnancy – to which youngsters need to face up to as they learn about sex. The school runs a kind of “virtual parenthood” exercise using dolls. For two weeks the students – both boys and girls – must carry around and care for a baby doll. If a student is caught neglecting the doll, he or she will be sent to the school court.
During the process, all students keep daily diaries recording their experiences, and phone local clinics and shops to find out the costs of raising a child.
They are also expected to research issues such as abortion rights and the rights of a child’s father.
But for all the straight-talking the convent encourages, learners like Mgnoma do have one major criticism about rules designed to keep male and female students apart. This is a “no-touching rule”, which forbids learners from hugging or holding hands with each other.
This sends mixed messages, says Mngoma, because the school encourages open dialogue about sexuality but “doesn’t encourage girl-guy relationships”.
She adds, “Having a dialogue with (the boys) is difficult,” especially when it comes to talking about the epidemic. “Guys will say, ‘I’ll never have Aids.'”
However, sister Natalie Khun argues that, “While the school is liberal in thought, it is not liberal in permissiveness”.
Ultimately, instead of telling students what they should do, the school promotes values of self-respect and open dialogue that help students make their own, informed decisions.
“Everyone has to make a choice; everyone has their conscience,” says Khun. “We shape consciousness.”
Timeline of tolerance
The Dominican Sisters of King William’s Town founded the Dominican Convent in 1908.
In the 1950s, the then all-white school began enrolling Chinese students and faced a racist backlash. Whites began leaving the school.
The high school closed in 1975 when the government withdrew its subsidies because it began admitting black students.
In 1984, sister Natalie Khun took over as principal, securing international sponsors to sustain the school.
In 1998, the high school reopened and in 2001, the first Grade 12 class graduated with a 100% matriculation rate.
The school hired its first non-Catholic headmaster, Mike Thiel, in January 2005, the same month the school held its first HIV forum with nuns and parents.
The convent’s Wings of Hope School opened in April 2005 to a small class of 20 needy street children aged between three and six.
A total of 635 students currently attend the school.