Cynthia Fulani tells how an 11-year-old
learner became obsessed with her
In 1996 I was a substitute teacher in an Alexandria farm school for three months. It was my first time to be in front of a class. There was this brilliant 11-year-old boy in my class who always did things that demanded my attention.
One Monday morning I forgot the keys to the house I was living in. Luckily this child stayed in a farm that had a public telephone, so I asked him to give my husband a call and tell him to bring me the keys. That is how he got hold of my home telephone number. The next day he came and told me how stupid my daughter sounded on the phone, and that my husband had a terrible voice. I took that as a joke but found out much later that he meant every word.
When the three-month period was over I had to go back home. On my last day, this child did not go home after school, he told he wanted to see me when I leave. When my husband arrived, he told me that my husband and his car were ugly. When I got into the car, he cried uncontrollably. I tried to console him but in vain. I even gave him money, but that also did not help. I was really touched because during those months I learnt that his parents left him when he was very young and he was living with his uncle. I thought that he saw me as a mother-figure.
It was not long before I received a call from him. He told me that he had something very important to tell me. When I asked him what it was, he promised to call the following day and tell me everything. He kept on calling me. He started making reverse-charge calls, but I stopped him from doing that.
The following year he went to school in Port Elizabeth. Apparently his aunt had a telephone and during the day he would call me two or three times. If he called and the phone was answered by my husband, he would put down the phone. I later found out that he resented my husband and my daughter. He kept telling me about this important thing he wanted to tell me and, when the time came, he did not have the guts to spill it out.
By then I had a pretty good idea of what it was. The boy was in love with me. He was only 11 years old. How was I supposed to handle this?
One day he called and I was out. I told him I had visited a doctor as I was expecting my second child. He became very angry and put the phone down after telling how much I had disappointed him. He stopped calling me.
I was relieved but also worried that I could not help him. He was obviously disturbed and I was not trained to handle such situations. This still haunts me because I do not know what became of that child. I wish teachers could be trained on how to handle such situations.
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— The Teacher/Mail & Guardian, Johannesburg, April 2001.