As the political sun appears to be setting for Jacob Zuma, the festive season could be a good time for the former deputy president to try his hand at kwaito. He is, after all, known for his penchant for breaking into song at the slightest excuse, and he has the voice.
What’s more, he can always call for assistance from Eugene Mthethwa (he of Trompies fame), one of his friends. Mthethwa, the kwaito giant, was named as a friend of Zuma at the launch of the Friends of Jacob Zuma Trust in Johannesburg this week.
Heaven knows, he needs all the friends he can get now. For such friends will hopefully translate into filling up the Zuma piggy bank and cutting a kwaito CD which would kill many birds with very few stones. For starters, it would make Zuma more popular with the youth than his nemesis, President Thabo Mbeki, and it would ensure that he gets to live his true life’s ambition — being a musician.
These were among the ideas bandied about by those who gathered at the Booysens hotel to save Zuma’s bacon in Johannesburg on Wednesday evening.
But Zuma appears to have few friends — at least few who are willing to be seen publicly supporting the ANC’s number two; or be found at the Booysens hotel.
It is a small-town hotel, much like a drinking hole featured in classic Westerns. It is owned by a “comrade” of Zuma’s and was probably used free of charge.
There were more hacks than “friends” at the gathering, which ought to dispel the myth that the media hates their friend. Zuma did not attend, though seven of his friends did, mostly drawn from the Congress of South African Trade Unions and the South African Communist Party.
Kwaito stars, on the other hand, are never short of friends. Yes, sometimes they get into trouble with the law, but bad publicity is hardly a drawback for a kwaito king. A career change would also be a funkier outlet for the Friends of Jacob Zuma’s mission of lifting the spirits and the bank balance of the ANC deputy president ahead of his corruption trial, and imagine the boost to the much-debated political apathy of the youth if our friend Zuma teams up with Mthethwa to cut a CD.
So, prepare yourself for a “JZ featuring Trompies” festive season hit: Uk’zabalaza, ngak’qala ngingaka, ngaba ngaka, manje sengingaka.
The words, according to senior sources within the Friends of Jacob Zuma campaign, are thought to be remarkably similar to Trompies’ made-for-TV-song. The lyrics refer to the group starting to jive when “then I became this tall and now I am this tall” — an apt reference to Zuma having joined the struggle when he was “this tall” and now he is “this tall”.
Times have been tough for Msholozi. This week’s gathering just showed how few friends there can be when days are dark.
But, in true revolutionary style, the sponsors of the Booysens gig were optimistic that the moneyed would soon and surreptitiously join in the campaign to ensure that the man they say is the champion of the underclass enjoys his day in court.
So, prepare for the new “chief” of kwaito. Get ready to get down for Mshini wam Vol 1.