Maybe it was inevitable that as the child of a reborn God-botherer and a misanthropic atheist, I might end up a little spiritually perplexed. My grandmother, a stout-hearted Matabeleland farmer, read her gilt-edged Bible every night, but was known to call in a nyanga (traditional healer) when necessary and scrupulously burned her nail clippings and hair from her brushes to avoid being ukuthakatwa (bewitched). I knew from an early age that there was more than one way of living, believing and perceiving — and that often the questions were more powerful than the answers.
There was no shortage of religious figures around, from genteel high-church Anglican vicars (all smells and bells), to African nuns in starched whites running rural hospitals and terrifyingly fierce, beetle-browed Scottish Presbyterian ministers who roared unintelligibly about sin. But no one could or would explain to my satisfaction why, if they all believed in Jesus, they didn’t all just go to the same church and get on with it.
I knew religion wasn’t going to work for me when I was frogmarched out of Sunday school (aged nine) by an irate American missionary for innocently remarking that God had a great job, because everyone praised him for the good things and blamed the devil for the bad things. While my father grinned gleefully into his whiskey, I quickly learned that these were touchy people. Faith was supposed to be blind and questions, like little girls, should be silenced.
I envied those genuinely devout girls at school who would pray fervently — instead of just moving their lips like I did — and truly believed with every atom of their being that God would answer their prayers. I just didn’t feel it, and I’ve never had much talent for faking.
A couple of decades on and I’m still searching and trying to live my truth. As I huddled with my colleagues around the pizza on deadline, the subject of aura photos came up and I volunteered that I had had mine taken.
”Naturally,” said one of my more charming colleagues, rolling her eyes. ”I mean, are there any of these New Age rituals you haven’t tried?”
Now, what makes viewing your energy field captured on film an indulgence in hippy-dippy navel-gazing rather than an exercise of scientific interest? Wouldn’t you like to know what kind of energy you are putting out and how it affects your interaction with the world? I’m not claiming it’s a life-changing experience or that, on the strength of it, you should renounce all your earthly possessions and go and live in a yurt in outer Mongolia. It is just interesting. Full stop.
Besides, the first aura photo was taken in 1891, making it a positively Victorian pursuit (and, while we are on the subject, the Victorians had their own self-help book fad, all terribly improving with unsurprising titles such as Self Help, Character and Duty by the appropriately named Samuel Smiles.)
I’m fascinated by the thought that most of the New Age ideas that sceptics are so quick to dismiss as faddish mumbo-jumbo are rooted in ancient wisdom and practice, from cheiriology (that’s palm reading to you) to acupuncture, through to herbalism and tarot. The point is to try something and see if it works for you. Take what you like from it and, if you don’t like it, don’t do it again. Use it to live your life but don’t make it your life.
I’ve flirted with flotation therapy (a well-intentioned birthday gift which wasn’t quite for me — a bit like spending an hour in a dark, drippy cave full of odd-smelling water) and I’ve had my tarot read a couple of times (most of them are great at picking up on your current energies, but crap at foretelling the future). I love massage and go at least once a month (hey, I’m six foot two in a world designed by four-foot midgets). I’ve overcome my needle phobia sufficiently to go to acupuncture regularly (don’t be fooled, it hurts!) and become sufficiently responsible for my own health to drag my lazy self off to practise tai chi a couple of times a week. I read the Tao Te Ching, add sea salt to my bath and dispense lavender oil for all sorts of ailments, from headaches to insect bites. I smudge a new space when I move into it to clear bad energy that may be lurking in the corners (interestingly, my African and Indian friends are never asked to defend their use of impepho and agarbhati (incense). I’m averse to taking medication that suppresses symptoms instead of treating causes, and I’ve learned the powerful effect my mind can have on my physical body.
If this makes me New Age, then so be it — but a lot of this stuff just seems like common sense found in all cultures. The concept of karma, which many Westerners find odd, is surely no different from the sentiment expressed in the idiom, ”What goes around, comes around.” In chiShona they say ”Chinobhururuka chinomhara [Even the bird which flies high will at some stage be brought low]” and in isiZulu, ”Izandla ziyagezana [One good turn deserves another]”.
None of this is new under the sun, just new to the Western ”rational” paradigm, which sees itself as scientific, logical and superior to all other ways of thinking and being and was, lest we forget, the mentality that drove the colonial powers as they pillaged riches and destroyed cultures in the name of progress. It is said that in times of great upheaval, people go to extremes, either embracing fundamentalism or retreating to deeply personal spirituality.
In the era of globalisation, New Age seems to be a catch-all term for anything that doesn’t originate in consumer culture (although it is astonishing how quickly it all gets subverted — think Nike Devadasis yoga shoes and Nuala yoga bags).
Of course, there are those figures who make it easy to poke fun at such mixing and matching of beliefs: the Edina Monsoon characters who take everything to excess; women draped in crumpled designer cheesecloth who’ve been seduced by tantric sex swamis in Goa and squatted in a menstrual hut on a hillside in Nepal at full moon; those whose Buddhism consists of chanting for 30 seconds at the designer shrine by the front door before they dash out to swim with dolphins; people whose constant searching keeps them miserable and takes them far away from where they might relax and simply be happy, and far away from real life.
They may be faintly ridiculous, but that’s the great thing about the New Age movement — no one is in charge. There is no dogma and there are no rules. Everyone is responsible for their own behaviour, so you can’t be excommunicated, have a fatwa put on your head or be barred from the cemetery if you step out of line.
A to Z of New Age practices
Acupuncture: The several thousand-year-old Chinese science of stimulating points of the body, traditionally using needles, in order to prevent or relieve pain and treat a variety of ailments.
Applied Kinesiology: A diagnostic system using manual muscle testing to augment normal examination procedures. Treatments may involve specific joint manipu-lation or mobilisation, counselling skills, evaluating environmental irritants and various reflex procedures.
Bach flower remedies: Developed by Dr Edward Bach (1897 to 1936), Bach flower remedies are combinations of various flower extracts used to alleviate various emotional conditions, from depression to exhaustion.
Biodanza: Meaning ”to dance with life”, it is a fusion of music, movement and emotion. It is a method of personal development aimed at raising levels of happiness and health.
Channelling: The art of chatting up spirits and relaying the information to the individual concerned. (Kind of like on Crossing Over with John Edwards or what a sangoma would do: ”I hear a C. Do you know what that means? I think you should slaughter a cow.”)
Cheirology: A mix of the esoteric Chinese Bhuddist hand analysis system and the best of traditional Western palmistry.
Colour breathing: The art of learning how to breathe in life-giving colours and breathe out the dark, dirty polluting ones while chanting colour-related affirmations.
Crystals: Crystals are believed to have the capacity to store and amplify any power source fed into them — physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. They work as conductors, focusing energy via a person’s thoughts to stimulate healing, physical or otherwise. It is not an exact science and contradictory information abounds.
Druidism: The first Druids were pre-historical tribal people in Europe who practised a religious veneration of nature, especially trees. Druidism was revived in Britain in the 18th century by the Irish theologian John Toland and has followers worldwide. Many modern-day Druids descend on Stonehenge in the United Kingdom every year to celebrate the summer solstice.
Feng Shui: The Chinese practice of manipulating a home’s interior to promote the flow of energy, or chi, in one’s environment to enhance wellbeing.
Firewalking: One of the oldest rituals known to mankind, fire-walking has been used as a means of healing and purifying people and their communities. (Useful for snapping out of old, deeply entren-ched beliefs such as ”Fire burns!”)
Flotation therapy: An individual is allowed to float atop a pool of warm salty water in an environment with limited distractions or stimuli. The goal is to induce relaxation and relieve stress.
Gerson therapy: A common alternative treatment for cancer that involves a strict regimen of low-fat foods and large quantities of fresh juice in the belief that cancer is caused by poor nutrition and high amounts of exposure to toxins.
Holographic repatterning: Based on the principles of quantum physics, it is a way of forcing non-coherent energy patterns into complicity in order to elicit more energy, health, joy and wellbeing.
Magnetic therapy: Uses magnetic bracelets and straps, shoe insoles, mattresses, magnetic blankets and even magnetic water. Adherents believe that medical disorders such as back and joint problems can be effectively treated by exposure to magnetic fields.
Meridian therapy: Essentially four related, but distinct, therapeutic tapping techniques: emotional freedom technique, tapas acupressure technique, ”be set free fast” and thought field therapy.
Nia: Takes movements from martial arts, dance and the healing arts and blends them to a variety of music for an exhilarating work-out. It’s fun, creative, sensual and expressive fun for the whole family. (Detractors dismiss it as capoeira for underachievers.)
Oxygen therapy: If the lungs are unable to transfer enough oxygen from the air into the bloodstream, oxygen therapy may be necessary. There are chronic conditions in which oxygen therapy is required, such as asthma, emphysema, bronchitis, lung cancer and congestive heart failure. In these cases, oxygen therapy can improve the quality of life and allow the individual to be more active. (In some cases, it may be easier to just stop smoking.)
Paganism: A canon of beliefs that preaches a deep religious reverence for nature. In ancient times, pagans worshipped a pantheon of gods, each of which was behind some natural phenomenon. Various pagan beliefs have been revived in modern times. Typically, these ”neo-pagan” beliefs include a worship of nature, a belief in gods or goddesses and sometimes a belief in or practice of magic.
Past-life regression: A process of accessing memories from previous lives through hypnosis or meditation. Suggested for personal growth and healing of psychological or physical problems. By reliving or discovering previous experiences or traumas, a person can identify the origin of his or her problem, such as phobias. (Not recommended for those with dull imaginations or those who don’t believe in reincarnation.)
Polarity therapy: A type of massage therapy in which the practitioner subtly massages various points of the body to restore the proper flow of energy through the body and restore balance.
Pranic healing: Uses the auric and chakral energies for diagnosis and healing by removing diseased energy from the patient’s energy body and transferring fresh energy to the affected areas.
Reiki: An ancient Japanese form of therapy in which a universal life energy is channelled through a healer and into the patient through touch. The energy is believed to enter through the healer’s head and into the patient via the healer’s hands.
Sound therapy: Employs sound in an organised or rhythmic form to disentangle the stressed-out nerves and brain, relaxing the mind-body as a whole. Most of the sounds heard in the world today are ”dis-charging” sounds, which drain the brain of its vital energy. (Mzekezeke’s latest album is not recommended for positive results.)
Vibrational healing: A process whereby vibrations are introduced or transferred into a person’s physical and energetic bodies to adjust vibrations that have become unbalanced. This is based on the idea that illness or disease in the human and auric body is characterised by blockages and imbalances. Some therapists recommend throwing out the TV, cellphone and microwave oven.
Wicca: Wicca is based on reverence for nature and her cycles and respect for the Earth and all her creatures. Contrary to popular belief, to be a witch is to be a healer, a teacher, a seeker, a giver and a protector of all things.
Yoga: The origins of yoga are found in the ancient Veda, sacred Hindu scriptures. There’s some-thing for everybody, ranging from a specialised secular framework to a highly religious structure. Not purely physical, the postures balance the emotions and calm the mind.
Zentai: Zentai is a single, all-encompassing therapy similar to reflexology. It has been modified to include zen shiatsu, reflex therapy, meridian therapy, massage and herbalism. The treatment is applied to the hands and feet, which are considered the body’s interface to the rest of the world. — Kwanele Sosibo and Dan Strumpf