A report by Willie Hofmeyr, the Eliot Ness of the Highveld, has revealed that the paying of bribes is commonplace. Of the respondents polled, 73% had paid bribes to avoid paying for water and electricity; 72% for having telephones installed; 65% for customs avoidance; and 55% for getting a driver’s licence. Lemmer is impressed by his compatriots’ chutzpah, but he’d like to urge Hofmeyr not to come down too hard on the 72% who resorted to corruption to get Telkom to schedule an installation. Given its appalling service, he thinks there are extenuating circumstances.
Kerpow!
Deputy Foreign Affairs Minister Aziz Pahad has boldly reassured foreign diplomats that their allegations of being targeted by criminals working with customs officials will be looked into, and that the possibility of extra protection is on the table. Pulling no punches, gun-belt and spurs almost audibly jangling, Pahad told News24 that he and his department “would be keen to discuss the issue and look at ways to move it forward”. Way to kick ass and inspire confidence!
Ka-ching
The manne were staggered by Warren Buffet’s generosity this week, as the Oracle of Omaha handed over an effective R275-billion to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Incomprehensible charity, said Dok Rabie. Unparalleled empathy, said Dominee Nogmaals Nagmaal Naude. Lank bucks, said Vrot Snoek. As for Lemmer, he thinks it’s a modest start. After all, R275-billion works out to 1,6% of the total amount of money owned by the world’s 793 billionaires. Thanks, Oom Warren, but Lemmer will reserve his excitement for when your less humanitarian colleagues do more than hand over R1,60 out of the R100 in their wallet.
Plagiarism: aluta continua
Lemmer has always been careful about judging books by their covers, but now it seems he has to be careful about judging publishers the same way. At last week’s Visdorp Book fair, publisher of fine art books David Krut was no doubt baffled to find an image from his book on Willem Boshoff — on the cover of another book. The image, an artwork by Boshoff, seemed to have been scanned directly from Krut’s publication. In a nod to subterfuge, however, publisher University of KZN Press had turned the picture upsidedown, where it now appears as the cover of a new collection of poems by Kelwyn Sole.