“Sir, would you mind moving to the bar? We can offer you a drink on the house for your trouble,” is the polite voertsek you might receive from a Katzy’s waiter who is losing patience with your leisurely pace on that Heineken.
As a Katzy’s barman — let’s call him Donovan — says, the place is known for its collection of single-malt whiskies, so it would be advisable to try another spot if your idea of a good night out is a few rounds of beer.
Katzy’s is a cosmopolitan cigar lounge in The Firs shopping mall, Rosebank, just table-hopping distance from its big brother across the way, The Grillhouse Restaurant. It is dimly lit and minimally adorned. With its rough brick walls, deep leather couches and display of cigars letting off a waft of spicy tobacco, Katzy’s breathes clubby, masculine appeal.
When they’re not schmoozing in the lobby of the Hyatt Hotel, this is where some of the city’s high-end thinkers, drinkers and deal-makers like to drop in after a tough day, loosen their ties and order a single malt or three.
It’s a Tuesday night after 9pm when we arrive. There’s not much action, and two black suits embroiled in weighty conversation bluntly refuse our request for a photograph. A two-man cover band, aided by a grand piano and a PA system, plays adult contemporary covers.
Premium whiskies sold here include Lagavulin, Macallan and Laphroaig and cognacs such as Hennessy, Courvoisier and Remy Martin.
To be taken seriously at Katzy’s, says Donovan, it’s not necessary to be a success, but it’s important to look the part. “It’s about being seen at the right place drinking the right thing. Drinking Verve Clicquot as opposed to JC Le Roux, or Hennessy, not Klipdrift.”
“The trick is to portray yourself as a success,” he adds. “But at the end of the day, it’s the order that separates the men from the boys.”
The “men” are separated from the “boys” at about the middle of any month, when the pretenders have run out of money. “There is definitely a culture of exclusivity going on,” says Donovan.
The single malts range from R25 to R250 per shot, while a double shot of the premium cognac Richard Hennessy will set you back about R2 200.
Vodka, says Donovan, still sells fast because many people haven’t really acquired the taste for single malts.
When I ask him about prominent patrons, the first name that comes to mind is former Johncom CEO Connie Molusi. But like all good barmen, Donovan is discreet, and details are not forthcoming. Wandi Motlana, a venture capitalist of serious black economic empowerment pedigree, drops by regularly to entertain clients. His drink of choice is the champagne Krug, priced at about R2 500.
Motlana is known to spend up to R20 000 entertaining clients in a single evening.
Since the venue is a stone’s throw from the Avusa media building, editors and media personalities are frequent visitors, including Sunday Times editor Mondli Makhanya and the columnist David Bullard. Donovan says both Makhanya and Bullard come across as people who genuinely enjoy the environment and the whisky, as opposed to “being seen”.
“You get pretentious types, but then you get those who come to enjoy the ambiance, the service and quality brands,” he says.
Then there is a regular contingent of Nigerians, he says, who are showy, flaunting their bottles of cognac to attract women.
I ask whether the place attracts TV personalities, and he shoots me a disapproving look. “They wouldn’t be able to afford it.”
The management is quite vigilant, I’m told, when it comes to making sure nobody sits around drinking Cokes. I guess the Cokes handed to the photographer and myself were our cue to split. And damn, I was enjoying that Luther cover.