How I know I’m not particularly fond of babies (or children) is because I have an affinity for remembering friends and family’s pets’ names better than I remember the names of their many offspring.
It’s not that I make a conscious effort not to like children; it’s more that I don’t understand them and am not well-versed in a language that requires me to draw every word out to the point where I’ve forgotten what I was trying to say.
‘Do you want this shnooooookie, do you, awwww, yeeeeees you doooooo, don’t youuuuuu … Um, what was I offering you again?” is usually how my conversations with younger people might go.
Older women warn that in the fullness of time my biological clock will become more audible and I will be assaulted by hormones forcing me to procreate.
I’m hoping I can drown any such racket out with either the noise of a V12 engine, or a wee dram or two, or a puppy. So MPVs are not my bag simply because I don’t have children and I’m hoping I won’t ever feel the need to further overpopulate the planet.
Vehicles such as Toyota’s recently launched new Verso may indeed be a favourite among rugrats, but this review is going to be about the car itself and not what Sprog A or Sprog B might’ve gurgled about its features; because while I know that most five-year-olds are smarter than I am, I don’t think they’d be any good at reviewing cars as I don’t see many parents seeking the sage advice of their children when it’s time to buy a new family car.
Let’s start with the superficial stuff: its looks. The outgoing Verso managed to mix just the right amount of practicality with smooth lines to give the previous generation an exterior that didn’t hurt the eyes, but the new Verso doesn’t pull this mixture off nearly as nicely as the older version did.
The lines are strangely angular and sharp in some places and hurriedly rounded off in other places to give the car an overall look that suggests the chief designer might’ve been a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character.
Inside, though, is where the designers thankfully put their thinking caps on as it’s spacious, decently specced and has a number of nifty storage spaces.
One of, dare I say it, the coolest gadgets is a simple convex mirror which flips down from the roof to Versatility is: Toyota’s new family MPV Verso. Photograph: Quickpic enable the driver to see all the rear occupants so that Mum or Dad won’t have to take their eyes off the road to shout at Sprog A for biting Sprog B’s Ben 10 watch.
The new Verso has seven seats with easy access to the third row of seats, cup-holders for almost everyone and seatbelts for all. Standard features across the range include five airbags, ABS, electronic brakeforce distribution, a multifunction steering wheel and aircon, among other things.
The 1.8-litre (108kW and 180Nm) I drove during the launch was pretty impressive. The handling and acceleration, while not being exceptional, was good enough to ensure that it wasn’t a boring ride.
The revised suspension with Mac Pherson struts up front and a torsion beam at the rear go a long way towards providing a gentle journey.
Importantly, the Verso’s versatility is enhanced by the increased luggage space and the two rear rows of seats, which fold away quite easily to increase the loading area.
The new Verso can best be described as being somewhat like the first Shrek movie: it’s aimed at kids, but adults won’t feel like it’s all about the offspring as the overall enjoyment value transcends age barriers.
Prices range from R243 300 for the bottom-of-the-range 1.6-litre petrol to R296 000 for the 2.0-litre turbodiesel, which will be available from November.