For many of my friends, a large part of our discussions has been dominated by our woes over love or to be more precise, the realisation that finding and keeping love has become so elusive. After attending a dinner with a group of women outside my own social set I realised that the problem was far wider than I had imagined. This was clearly something plaguing numerous young, professional black women. I realised that this was a debate that needed to be taken to a public platform so we could tease out what was behind it and what we could learn from the situation.
That’s when I decided to pitch the idea of a column examining the experiences of these women to the Mail and Guardian. “Google me, baby” was my maiden column. It was fortuitous then that for my very first column I was to stumble upon Mr Google. He demonstrates a lot of what has become unseemly about our new democracy and its emerging black middle class.
“She can have any name, as long as it’s Ngcobo.”
This column was an opportunity to have a tongue in cheek look at one of the most flamboyant characters in public life. I was amused by the fact that his numerous courtiers happened to share the same last name.
This paved the way for me to look at styles of courting as it relates to our cultural identities as black people. What I realised from this experience is that many men and women still prefer traditionalist, old fashioned ways of days gone by.
In a country where polygamy seems to be gaining currency and popularity with modern men — it was curious for me that there are pockets of culture and traditional practises that these modern women still find alluring. What this column illustrates is the fact that many men in powerful positions in South Africa see nothing wrong with multiple concurrent partnerships and that these kinds of relationships are very prevalent with some young women being willing participants.
Read ‘Google me baby’ here.