“Mom fears cougar on the prowl”, ” ‘Cougar’ mom starts therapy” and, of course, “Blue Bulls cougar to have her head examined”.
The story of an older Pretoria woman who allegedly hired two Nigerian hitmen to murder her daughter’s boyfriend after having an affair with him has understandably captured the public’s imagination.
However mainstream media’s adoption of the term “cougar”, a borderline derogatory name denoting older women who prey on younger men, has caused concern in some quarters.
“Journalists should think twice before using any terms that reinforce stereotypes rather than convey a given story in its all-rounded depth,” media academic Guy Berger told the Mail & Guardian.
Others in the industry were slightly more forgiving of the phenomenon.
“I think it’s a fun term more than anything else because it’s such an unusual turning of the tables,” said South African columnist Marianne Thamm.
Double standards
However she noted a double standard at play. “It’s not a negative label in itself but the label itself shows there’s a bit of discrimination going on here.
“Bheki Cele, Jacob Zuma and others all married young woman and it wasn’t an issue.”
Aspasia Karras, editor of Marie Claire was more scathing.
“Cougars are a handy urban myth to bolster the egos of fragile young men,” she said “So the older woman who lands a younger man is a predator and the older man with a younger model is a player — nobody is suggesting he gobbles his prey. Eish!”
The term was almost universally used by South African media. News24 ran “Cougar wanted Bulls player killed”, while Pretoria News referred to her as a “cougar mom”.
The Sunday Times called the bombardment of SMSs to Deon Helberg (21) as a “cougar infatuation”, while the Daily News also branded her a cougar.
The 47-year-old bookkeeper, Manda Reyneke (47), is accused of conspiring to kill Blue Bulls’ rugby player Deon Helberg after an alleged love-triangle between Reyneke, Helberg and her modelling daughter, Jalien.
Too easy
“People are always looking for the next new thing,” said Karras. “It’s easier to call this deranged lady with a penchant for sangomas and pretty sportsmen a cougar than to identify her full borderline psychological profile in a headline.”
Thamm found some comfort in the fact that the term cougar “doesn’t necessarily denote an animal we don’t like. In the past feminists were called hyenas. So it’s less derogatory but it still points to a discrimination of sorts.”
The term has long entered common parlance, and been mooted by some as a fun and empowering. An United States TV series called Cougar Town, which debuted in 2009, initially focused on Courtney Cox as a recently divorced woman who re-enters a dating scene filled with younger men and embarks on a journey to self-discovery while surrounded by fellow divorcees.
Berger, however, believes the term is anything but empowering.
“The connotations are of a female predator within the porn industry. So, the word comes with baggage that reduces the complexity of a given woman to a singular dimension, which is accordingly far from empowering of anyone.”
Indeed Cougar Town creator Bill Lawrence settled on the title after some deliberation, noting the ideological minefield. “It’s a risky roll of the dice,” he has said in interviews. “We don’t call women “cougars” in it. We certainly don’t use the word beyond the unbelievably big cheat that the high school mascot is a cougar.”
The show eventually wandered away from its initial premise of older women sleeping with younger men, but kept its name.
It hasn’t stopped the backlash. The Irish Times Kate Holmquist wrote: “Cox is both a symbol and a red light warning for everything that is wrong with the Hollywood portrayal of middle-aged women, who are rarely wise or strong or naturally aged” and stated that she is “the female version of the pervert in a dirty raincoat”.
Background
Meanwhile, the story of Reyneke and Helberg has continued to make headlines.
Reyneke allegedly contracted the hitmen at a Pretoria nightclub after Helberg left her.
She was arrested in an undercover Hawks operation on Thursday November 18, at a Valuemart shopping centre in Pretoria after she allegedly handed over money to two Nigerian men, whom she believed had killed Helberg.
The two hitmen worked with the police to catch her, even showing her a posed picture of Helberg lying dead in a pool of blood.
The hitmen had started following around Helberg but the Sunday Times reported that they started liking him and told him about the plot to kill him.
According to the South African Press Association, she allegedly gave them money to buy weapons, ammunition and other equipment needed for the crime, promising them more money and a house each once the hit was completed.
The Pretoria News reported on Wednesday that Reyneke checked into a mental institution on Tuesday after her successful bail bid in the Pretoria Magistrate’s Court on Monday.
At the bail hearing it was revealed that Reyneke started plotting the murder three months ago. She had also consulted a sangoma (traditional healer) to assist with the murder.
She was released on R5 000 bail and the case was postponed to January 27 2011.