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04 Jan 2013 00:00
"Chicks always cry when you hit them, which makes you feel like shit and totally kills your buzz"
Scientists are still baffled by why some men hate women when they earn more, get more workplace respect, and are generally fêted by patriarchal societies around the world.
However, this morning South Africa's woman-haters explained that they hate women because women are hateful.
"Chicks always cry when you hit them, which makes you feel like shit and totally kills your buzz," said Brick Wyfebeeter, 34. "It's so inconsiderate."
Boysclub Mbete, who hates women almost as much as he hates himself, said that women were also the "worst drivers in the world".
"I'm just so grateful that I don't have to share the roads with them any more," he said, adding that he had stopped driving after losing both his legs in a car wreck caused by playing chicken with a freight train in a game called 'Dudes Are Awesome and Chicks Are Dumb'.
But the misogynists were unanimous that what upset them most about women was the way they "let themselves go as soon they've trapped you into a relationship with their evil succubus ways".
"My Hestri-Sharnay has gone from an extra-small to a small," said a disgusted Néander Taal (44).
Asked why he expected his wife to remain malnourished while he ballooned to 260kg and grew DD-cup man-breasts, Taal said: "It's different."
"Chicks don't have sexual needs like guys," he explained.
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