Happier times: President Jacob Zuma and Mathews Phosa at the ANC’s June 2012 policy conference.
I was raised Catholic. I used to believe that God exists. Now I am agnostic.
I changed my mind about whether or not there is sufficient evidence that God exists because I could no longer sustain a childhood belief in God after critical scrutiny, let alone the various Catholic rituals of that particular denomination.
I used to believe that artists must not care about the effect of their work on society. I was haunted by lessons in the history of music telling of how some composers in Soviet Russia had to produce jingoistic works that could whip up nationalistic feelings among the masses in order for the composers to remain funded by the state.
Now I think it is weird for writers, artists or musicians to be indifferent to their place in the world, including how their work will impact on the societies in which they live.
I do not believe in self-censorship. Unlike my high school self, I’m now trying to develop a view that affirms artistic freedom but which also values social consciousness.
Artists should not behave like solipsists. Nor should they slavishly worry about what every Tom, Dick and Harry will make of their output. What it means to balance these attitudes is something I am still on a journey to figure out.
What is clear, however, is that I no longer hold my earlier view.
Several years ago, someone in attendance at a literary festival thought they were scoring a “gotcha!” moment when they pointed out that I had changed my view about what South African philosopher Samantha Vice had said about how white South Africans “should live in this strange place”.
I think they imagined I would be embarrassed. I wasn’t. My view had simply changed. Vice argued that white people should adopt a certain kind of quiet in recognition of how ubiquitous white privilege and whiteness have been in our country.
I had written an academic paper disagreeing sharply with her based on various counterarguments, including the fact that white South Africans have citizenship rights that entitle them to be active participants in public discourse and all facets of life in South Africa.
Besides, if black and white people are to live with healthy attitudes towards each other, we had better practise what it means to do so. A vow of silence on the part of whites isn’t a sensible way to move towards that outcome.
I changed my view, however. I now think Vice misdescribed her own philosophical position. It is not that she literally wants white South Africans to lock themselves up and never engage in the public space, but rather that they have an awareness of how their unearned privileges position themselves.
So, I now disagree with Vice in small ways but not deeply. I shifted positions.
It doesn’t matter whether my earlier views or later views are the correct ones. The central point is that human beings are allowed to change their views. We change our views about issues, and we change our views about people and about each other.
It would be weird to hold on to the same set of beliefs for life. If you are reading widely, travelling, meeting people from different walks of life, listening to others, and considering new evidence and reconsidering old evidence, then you will keep some core beliefs – but some changes in you and in your belief set will naturally happen.
It is crucial, however, to own the evolution of your views. It is important to face up to your past behaviour. It is necessary to account for the shifts in your convictions.
Which brings me to one Mathews Phosa. He has been all the rage for the past week. He penned an article last week in which he was scathing about the current state of the ANC.
Along the way he dramatically tells us about the intellectual burying of the ANC. His “Damascus moment” apparently came recently when the speaker of Parliament, Baleka Mbete, callously refused to allow a minute of silence at the beginning of the State of the Nation address in memory of the 94 – and now over 100 – psychiatric patients who had died in Gauteng because of the political and administrative failures of the provincial government.
It is perfectly acceptable for Phosa to change his views about a political party he has loved for most, if not all, of his life. Indeed, it is admirable for people to change their views as the evidence before them changes. The opposite position is slavishly sticking to positions that are no longer justified.
However, Phosa’s fiery denunciation of the current ANC leadership would be so much more compelling if he “owned” and explained his own political sins and role in the making of the present-day mess.
Sure, the heart of his remarks rang true. He shouldn’t get brownie points from anyone if he doesn’t also account for his past convictions, actions and inactions.