Get more Mail & Guardian
Subscribe or Login

Stargazing through a pandemic

When the world was thrust into the new normal, my mother had someone read my birth chart. It was the most perfect gift, though at the time I was not sure how to accept it.

Astrology has always fallen into that swampy part of me that prays it is all written in the stars. There were the horoscopes at the back of the Seventeen magazines that I used to pore over as a pre-teen, delighting in the big sister advice. 

Those horoscopes were like a parting gift, bestowed to readers for making it through the glossy pages without spiralling. But they were never to be taken seriously.

If those horoscopes were anything to go by, 2020 would have been a bumper year for all Capricorns. Though it wasn’t all bad — the bread-making was nice — last year was punctuated by losses that have spilled over into the new year and will be mourned for many more to come.

Some more serious astrologers knew what was coming; a plague is what popular psychic medium Jessica Lanyadoo called it.

The fact is astrology is not a not a science but, somehow, I am not deterred by this.

I wasn’t raised to wholly doubt the esoteric, or to believe that knowledge and healing would always come from the most rational source. 

I distinctly remember waiting while my parents tried acupuncture in someone’s back garden to stop smoking and, on a separate occasion, consulting a beat poet in Yeoville, Johannesburg, who had butterflies pinned to his wall.

Although my parents never gave me a religion, a fact that in my younger years sometimes left me feeling different and alone, I still prayed most nights and always kept an eye out for a shooting star. Granted what I would wish for the most were longer legs and straight hair.

Now I hesitantly turn to the stars when little else makes sense, which these days is often.

During my most recent personal devastation, I phoned my best friend sobbing at 10pm. Understanding that what I really craved were answers, she sent me a link about zodiac signs and their love matches. 

And with tears stinging my eyes, I absorbed every word on that web page like gospel — hopelessly thankful that a stranger on the internet took the time to lay it all out for me. Suddenly there was a logic to my pain.

And when I am truly low, sometimes the only thing that can make me smile is a Capricorn meme unearthed from the depths of Instagram and the “amens” from my fellow goat sisters in my DMs. The memes don’t all fit. But when they do, it is like being acknowledged by some cosmic force.

In 2018, The Atlantic published an article headlined “The New Age of Astrology”. The general premise of the article is that the woo-woo stigma attached to astrology has receded in recent years as it has gained a foothold in online culture. Millennials, like myself, have embraced this, the article poses.

“Astrology offers those in crisis the comfort of imagining a better future, a tangible reminder of that clichéd truism that is nonetheless hard to remember when you’re in the thick of it: This too shall pass.”

“This too shall pass.” My high school headmistress would say that during the last assembly before exam season. To this day, I get a deep sense of comfort from those words, which I whisper to myself when I feel myself staring into the abyss.

For now, while we wait for it to pass, there is little that is off limits. The Instagram-era horoscopes, the online tarot card readings best done during long Zoom meetings, the personality tests seemingly contrived to steal all your personal information and the desperate 5am attempts to tap into the divine feminine.

All these contortions I put myself through to survive reality are also little acts of defiance against a rational world turned upside down.

Subscribe for R500/year

Thanks for enjoying the Mail & Guardian, we’re proud of our 36 year history, throughout which we have delivered to readers the most important, unbiased stories in South Africa. Good journalism costs, though, and right from our very first edition we’ve relied on reader subscriptions to protect our independence.

Digital subscribers get access to all of our award-winning journalism, including premium features, as well as exclusive events, newsletters, webinars and the cryptic crossword. Click here to find out how to join them and get a 57% discount in your first year.

Sarah Smit
Sarah Smit
Sarah Smit is a general news reporter at the Mail & Guardian. She covers topics relating to labour, corruption and the law.

Related stories

WELCOME TO YOUR M&G

If you’re reading this, you clearly have great taste

If you haven’t already, you can subscribe to the Mail & Guardian for less than the cost of a cup of coffee a week, and get more great reads.

Already a subscriber? Sign in here

Advertising

Subscribers only

Fears of violence persist a year after the murder of...

The court battle to stop coal mining in rural KwaZulu-Natal has heightened the sense of danger among environmental activists

Data shows EFF has lower negative sentiment online among voters...

The EFF has a stronger online presence than the ANC and Democratic Alliance

More top stories

Mkhize throws the book at the Special Investigating Unit

It’s a long shot at political redemption for the former health minister and, more pressingly, a bid to avert criminal charges

Pockets of instability in Kenya are underpinned by unequal development

Stability in Kenya hinges on a just, equitable distribution of resources, and a commitment to progress human development for the marginalised

Eastern Cape premier Mabuyane lives large amid province’s poverty

Oscar Mabuyane and MEC Babalo Madikizela allegedly used a portion of state funds for struggle icon Winnie Madikizela-Mandela’s commemoration for their own benefit

Constitutional court confirms warrantless searches in cordoned off areas unconstitutional

The law was challenged in response to raids in inner Johannesburg seemingly targeting illegal immigrants and the highest court has pronounced itself 10 days before an election in which then mayor Herman Mashaba has campaigned on an anti-foreigner ticket
Advertising

press releases

Loading latest Press Releases…
×