Children around the country are collecting the little multi-ethnic “friends” that are printed on the sides of Smarties boxes. We think they’re on to something. Here is a list of places you can go to meet people of different colours, shapes and sizes, and hopefully make some real-life friends in the process.
1. Getting to MMINO you: White person looking to meet liberal other race?
MMINO MusicMix: ICC, Durban, September 24
Niger’s Etran Finetawa headline this festival, taking place on Heritage Day, which no liberal, cultural, chin-stroking Durbanite, black, white or anything in between, would be caught dead missing, despite not recognising most of the performers, most of whom have never performed in South Africa before. Moona from Zambia? Elemotho from Namibia? Johnny Clegg … oh, we know him. That’s alright then. See you there.
2. Diversity and all: Black man seeking significant Indian other?
The Concert for Freedom: The Bassline, Newtown, Johannesburg, September 25
Om Shanti Om: Focus Contemporary, Cape Town, (closing October 16)
Don’t miss the chance to catch a few doses of “authentic” South African Indian culture (your weekly takeaway doesn’t count) with the Shared Histories Festival taking place in Jo’burg throughout September. One of the highlights is The Concert for Freedom with violinist Dr L Subramaniam, one of the world’s most-renowned performers of Indian classical music, taking place at the Bassline in Newtown. If you like your Indian experience to conform to a more glitzy ideal, head to Focus Contemporary in Cape Town, where Jochen Manz exhibits photographs from the making of Bollywood blockbuster Om Shanti Om.
3. White riot: Indian or Black lass in search of pale companions?
Fokofolisiekar: The Assembly, Cape Town, September 26
Isochronous and guests: Klein Libertas Theatre, Stellenbosch, September 25
Alternative gigs are a good place to witness white kids posing in their natural habitat. In Cape Town, head to Fokofpolisiekar’s gig at The Assembly this weekend for some Bellville-style debauchery, or to the Klein Libertas Theatre in Stellenbosch to see Pretoria’s Isochronous, kidofdoom and Yesterday’s Pupil, supported by DJ Sassquatch and Haezer. Yes, their jeans are supposed to fit like that, and I’m sure they do eat. It’s a fashion thing, or something. It will pass. Like a kidney stone.
4. Re di busa so: White social climber with a yen for black diamonds?
Club Inc, Braamfontein, Johannesburg
House of Nsako, Brixton, Johannesburg
If you’re looking for black diamonds in the rough of the city, look no further than Club Inc in Jo’burg, where the people and the credit cards are as smooth, clean and shiny as the sports cars parked outside.
If you’re looking for something a little more relaxed and authentic (and who could blame you really?) then give the House of Nsako in Brixton a try. This ex-bingo hall attracts a crowd of young, black intellectuals from all over South Africa and beyond, who go for jazz, hip-hop and poetry. It also serves traditional food (chicken feet, anyone?) and has a library of lefty literature. You’ll be dreading your hair and quoting Marcus Garvey in no time.
5. Afrkaners is plesierig: Prawns who want to be taken to our (former) leaders?
Koos Kombuis, Cultivaria Festival, Paarl, September 27
Afrikaans music is not all accordions, Bok van Blerk or Kurt Darren (although, if those images awaken some morbid curiosity in you, head to Hilfox Markets in Jo’burg next weekend). There are plenty of artists whose take on die taal is far more subversive, and whose gigs attract a more sophisticated crowd. This weekend catch Koos Kombuis at the Cultivaria Festival in Paarl, or head to Die Pienk Kerk in Melville, a new venue that has hosted artists such as Rian Malan, as well as a number of exhibitions and readings.
And finally: an event that proves that all races are equal when it comes to being pretentious wankers:
6. Not the DomPASS: mixed-race mental case looking for like-minded poseur?
Pan African Space Station: various venues, Cape Town
The Pan African Space Station is proof that anyone can look good in a turtleneck, even a pet tortoise. The intellectual nodding-edge of Pan-African, PASS takes place at various Cape Town venues in September.
Here, race don’t matter none — just how much you know about obscure-to-some-of-us beats, bands and books. (Jokes aside — this is HIGHLY recommended.)
Listen online at www.panafricanspacestation.org.za.