A ghostbusting care package

Ghosted

/ɡəʊst/

verb

The act of suddenly ending a relationship or series of interactions with someone by withdrawing from all forms of communication without warning. “I can’t believe they ghosted me after we had such an amazing date”

The Mail & Guardian witnessed the chats that were being had around ghosting. Seeing that we don’t offer private investigation services that would help you track down the loved ones who left you on read, we’ve put together a care package to help usher you out of blue tick limbo.

“WHEN WE FACE PAIN IN RELATIONSHIPS OUR FIRST RESPONSE IS OFTEN TO SEVER BONDS RATHER THAN TO MAINTAIN COMMITMENT.” — BELL HOOKS

Things to watch

Ghosted

Think of what MTV Base’s Catfish would be like if it was exclusively about ghosting. Or if Khumbul’ekhaya were to join forces with Love Back. Rachel Lindsay and Travis Mills use tactics similar to Nev Schulman and Max Joseph to help people with loved ones who up and left without an explanation. Although it is often upsetting to watch, Ghosted offers viewers pockets of vicarious redemption. 

Texts to read

All about Love: New Visions by bell hooks

Made up of equal parts of personal anecdotes and critical analyses of self-help books, All about Love examines ideas, manifestations and arguments around love in a manner that can resonate with contemporary ways of being. She touches on ways to overcome learned behaviours in order to give and receive a holistic love that entails affection, respect, recognition, commitment, trust, care and sincere communication. It’s a solid reference for those looking to restart their relationship with the concept of love.

Ghosting in Emerging Adults’ Romantic Relationships: The Digital Dissolution Disappearance Strategy

Even though this care package is aimed at being on the side of those who have been ghosted, this journal article examines relational dissolution (the process of breaking up) and why ghosting presents itself as a just means of doing so.

When Your Boo Becomes a Ghost: The Association Between Breakup Strategy and Breakup Role in Experiences of Relationship Dissolution

Through a series of interviews and observations this article explores the possible effects of ghosting by asking: What happens to the ghost and the parties that they ghost? How does it differ from an active break-up?

The Soundtrack

Listen to the playlist on Deezer

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We make it make sense

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Zaza Hlalethwa
Zaza Hlalethwa
Zaza Hlalethwa studies Digital Democracy, New Media and Political Activism, and Digital Politics.

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