/ 18 November 2024

Joburg: A beloved, magnificent cesspit

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I can make Joburg great again: Nickolaus Bauer wrote his new book on the city in part to persuade residents to stop moaning and fix it. Photo: Charles Leonard

Before we proceed with discussing Nickolaus Bauer’s insightful and interesting new book Great Johannesburg, there is something I must unequivocally declare before church and state: I fucking love Johannesburg!

Well, that’s not entirely true — I have a love-hate relationship with Joburg.

Well, that’s not quite true, either … Let’s peg it at 80/20. Okay, unequivocally re-declared: I have a four-parts-love, one-part-hate relationship with Joburg.

Like many South Africans who grew up in towns and smaller cities in more rural provinces — a shout-out to Matlosana-Klerksdorp, the unofficial Centre of the Universe — I came to Johannesburg to seek a brighter future.

I moved here in 1998 to attend university and never left. Economically, culturally and socially, there was simply so much more at my fingertips than back home. And it was the closest and most accessible of our beloved country’s major cities.

Also, moving to Durban meant I’d have to burn all my shoes and moving to Cape Town meant I’d have to pretend I live in another country,  so Joburg was the more attractive option.

But I digress.

Johannesburg is, without doubt, simultaneously one of the most wonderful and most painful places in the world to call home.

As I have often said to entertain friends and family who don’t live here, being in love with Johannesburg is like being in love with hard drugs — you know it will probably kill you, but you don’t care.

On one hand, it is a city rich with cultural history, and at one point was the beating heart of the entire global gold-mining industry.

It is one of the world’s greenest cities and is a melting pot of different races and creeds.

The cost of living is, compared to other major international cities, remarkably low, with property prices notably cheaper.

Foreign visitors to the city remark on its resemblance to London or New York, both in terms of its general physical appearance and in terms of “vibe”. 

But, unlike those cities, the weather is marvellous, and the people are friendly.

To quote a former colleague of mine, now a resident of Scotland: “It’s nice to sit down in a restaurant and be greeted by a waitress who actually cares if you’re alive or dead.”

Joburg is like the smiley little brother of these other cities.

Then there is the on-the-other-hand. Well, we all know the downsides to living here. Crime. Overcrowding and homelessness. Infrastructural issues. Xenophobia and violence. Water, air, soil and noise pollution. Traffic and more violence. People who brag about living in Sandton. People who brag about not living in Sandton. The list goes on and on.

Joburg is like the smiley little brother who also steals out of your wallet when you’re not in the room.

To quote the same former colleague in Scotland: “I would retire here in a heartbeat — if it weren’t for the crime.”

Back to the other hand — we have a magnificent city, a shining beacon showing us what the entire continent is capable of.

Changing hands again, it is, unfortunately, something of a cesspit.

Johannesburg, the world’s only magnificent cesspit.

And nowhere is this better illustrated than in Nickolaus Bauer’s new book Great Johannesburg.

Bauer is without doubt a proud resident of the city. He is enamoured not only of its fascinating history but its current and future well-being.

Apart from the fact that Bauer once was a writer on this very newspaper, he has several more items on his Joburg-related CV. As a former deputy director for the city’s environment and infrastructure services department and current inner-city activist, Bauer is well aware not only of the incomparable merits of Johannesburg’s one-of-a-kind resume, but of the unique and potentially crippling challenges that the city faces.

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Bauer begins the book with its colourful and interesting history, how it was a boom town that exploded out of farmland in 1886 upon the discovery of gold. And how, like all cities founded on the promise of a quick buck, it soon attracted the best and worst that society has to offer.

However, Joburg’s story strays from the more run-of-the-mill ones due to South Africa’s interesting and troubled past. Tension between indigenous people, as well as colonial forces from more than one European country, led to a terse, multi-directional squabble over money which, if we’re perfectly honest, still exists to this day.

In fact, Bauer does well to illustrate that many of the challenges Johannesburg faces, which we view as “modern” problems, have been around since the city’s troubled conception. 

Johannesburg has always been, to steal a quote from Star Wars, “a wretched hive of scum and villainy”.

And yet, despite these challenges, the city has endured, a testament not only to humankind’s love for that shiny yellow metal we dig out of the ground, but to the tenacity, adaptability and strength of spirit of the residents of the City of Gold.

Bauer divides his book into 11 sections, each comprising multiple chapters. The first section deals with the city’s founding and history and the last deals with his belief that it is standing on a precipice and how it can be guided back to glory.

The intervening nine sections talk about the various trials and tribulations that Johannesburg wrestles with and has, in many cases, always wrestled with. These include crime, political instability, the legacy of apartheid and more.

What I like about the book is the structure Bauer adheres to within the sections, which mirrors the larger structure. He introduces a problem statement, gives us the historical context of it, gives us the current situation surrounding it, and then outlines how it can be rectified.

This book, while biographical of what we all know to be a troubled city, is, ultimately, a hopeful book. 

Bauer loves his city; he openly shouts it from rooftops. In fact, in the About the Author section he states that he wrote it to get residents of Joburg to stop complaining and save his beloved home.

He’s done an admirable job of showing us its scabrous underbelly while simultaneously reminding us of how wonderful it is capable of being.

It’s a highly recommended read for anyone who shares a fascination with this city.

Great Johannesburg is published by Tafelberg.